The challenge is the closer we get to someone the more of our own sin that is shown. Our spouses see us for who we are, seeing us in our very best and very worst moments in life. The beautiful thing is that this is a mirror to us to be able to see sin in ourselves and our relationships. We may not have even known the sin existed previously. Therefore, marriage can be a wonderful sanctification process.
Since there are so many beautiful things that can come from marriage, marriage is an area that is a MAJOR target for our ENEMY. This enemy wants to steal the blessings that come from a marital relationship and destroy the family that has been formed.
I not only love marriage, I love working with marital couples. Throughout the past years of doing this I have seen patterns where our enemy found a "hole" in a relationship and entered and started his work of destruction.
Here are TEN common holes the Enemy comes through and ways to plug them fast!
- Being upfront with each other. If you have had a possible improper interaction with a person of the opposite sex (i.e. could be interpreted as flirting, etc.) or there is an issue in the relationship let your spouse know (always with the spirit of reconciliation and not to "get your way").
- Weekly Date Nights. This looks different for each couple but be sure to have quality time engaging each other weekly (daily is better).
- Spiritual protection. Pray for the relationship and each other. Pray to be delivered from our Enemy, for protection for your relationship and ask your spouse how you can be praying for them.
- Self-esteem. Do not let a day go by without reconfirming for the other one that they are loved and you are thankful they are your spouse. One simple way to do this is to make a commitment to give your spouse at least one genuine compliment each day. It is a small thing that goes a LONG way.
- Mums the word! Be careful what you tell to others about your relationship (i.e. family members, co-workers, etc.). It is common to have a disagreement with a spouse, tell a family member, you and your spouse make up and the family member is still upset. This can cause significant problems.
- Speak highly of your spouse! Remember to be your spouse's biggest fan. Be mindful about what you say to others (i.e. to family members, co-workers, friends, etc.).
- Be mindful of distractions. Be mindful of anything that takes time away from the relationship (i.e. computer, games, phone, children, work, etc.). Be sure to not let EVERYTHING else crowd out the time and energy you need to reserve for your spouse.
- Say NO to flirting! If an outsider breaks a boundary (i.e. opposite sex flirts) the spouse receiving this needs to be upfront with stopping this ASAP. Remember, when this happens it is not of God but from the Enemy!
- What are you fighting for? When you are about to have a disagreement, in the middle of one, or even after ask yourself, “What am I fighting for”. Is this Godly or Un-Godly? Is this for reconciliation, to get my way, etc.
- Pray for God to teach you how to LOVE your spouse. Let God guide you and study your spouse. Pray not only for the wisdom to know the actions to take but also pray for the heart to complete those actions.
Do you know of another "hole" our enemy uses and a way to "plug" this?
Share your thoughts!
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