Static, Illusions, Communication & Conflict - Part 2

Last week we reviewed some basic skills that can help with communication difficulties (see Part 1).  This week we are focusing on kicking the communication skills up a notch to aid with conflict resolution.

What does a couple do when they are STUCK in a conflict and it NEVER seems to get resolved?  Some basic skills that can help are the following:


1.  Set a time/place for discussion of the issue.
2.  Define the problem (be SPECIFIC)
3.  List ways you both contribute to the problem (each person list for themselves!)
4.  List past attempts to solve the problem that were not successful (We do not want to repeat what has already failed going back to that old saying, "The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results!".)
5.  Brainstorm:  try to not stop until you two have come up with 10 possible solutions.  The key is to not evaluate or judge.  Just focus on any and all possible ideas.
6.  Discuss and evaluate the 10 you two came up with!
7.  Agree on one solution you two will try.
8.  State how each of you will work toward the solution you agreed to try.
9.  Set another time/place for discussion of the solution and its progress dealing with the issue.
10.  Reward!  When you see your spouse making a positive contribution toward the solution be sure to recognize and praise your spouse!

Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:18 (NIV)

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

Ephesians 4:26 (NIV)

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,


Resources


Prepare and Enrich - Communication and Conflict Resolution Sections.  You may participate in the Mecklenburg Community Church Prepare and Erich program.  Contact us today to learn more details!