February 7 - 14th is considered the National Marriage Week. With keeping this in mind I thought it may be wise to consult the wisest words ever wrote about marriage. Actually, these would be the wisest words ever written about LOVE. These words are found in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 (NIV):
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
When working with couples there is something I love to give them. I do not know who wrote this to give appropriate credit but this is a very helpful resource (the key is to read it only with yourself in mind, do not read it thinking about what your spouse does for you):
I Corinthians 13: 4-8 Assessment
Am I patient with my spouse? (I am flexible and understanding) Ephesians 4:2-3
Am I kind to my spouse? (I am kind in thought, words, and actions toward him/her) Ephesians 4: 31-32
Am I supportive (not envious) with my spouse? (I do not keep score when I feel I do more) James 3:16 – 18
Am I encouraging (not boastful) to my spouse? (I do not brag about my accomplishments while downplaying theirs) Hebrews 3:13
Am I humble (not proud) with my spouse? (I do not think my agenda is more important than my spouse’s agenda) I Peter 5:6
Am I gracious (not rude) to my spouse? (I build up my spouse with my words spoken in private and public) Ephesians 4:29
Am I selfless (not self-seeking) with my spouse? (I focus on my spouse’s needs and wants and balance them with my own) Philippians 2:3-4
Am I self-controlled (Not easily angered) with my spouse? (I do not have a short fuse or quick temper) Proverbs 15:1
Am I able to forgive and let go (keeping no records or wrongs) with my spouse’s shortcomings? (I do not use my spouse’s past shortcoming as ammunition in today’s disagreements or allow these things to taint our communication today) Colossians 3: 12-14
Do I delight in being faithful to God (not delighting in Evil)? (I see to live a pure life and choose not to flirt with sin) Ephesians 4:1
Do I rejoice with truth? (I actively pursue God’s truth over Satan’s lies) John 8: 31-32
Do I seek to protect my spouse (I fill in the gaps where they feel weak and vulnerable) I Thessalonians 5:11
Do I trust my spouse? (I give my spouse the benefits of the doubt) I Peter 3:8
Do I keep hope alive in my marriage? (I trust God with OUR future, not “my” future) Jeremiah 29:11
Do I persevere in my marriage? (I look for solutions to problems rather than look for a way out) Matthew 5:33
Am I committed to the permanence of our marriage? (I believe divorce is not an option for us) Malachi 2:16
We hope and pray that this week is one that reminds you of the greatest gift God gave, Love.
Why is this the greatest? The answer is found in 1 John 4:8 (NIV):
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
Resources
Community Care offers resources such as Marriage Prep Classes, Marriage Mentoring and Marriage Enrichment courses. For more information contact us today!
Community Care site: http://www.mecklenburg.org/community-care
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